Off the Wall
with Matt Mong

“It is not good for man to be alone.” - God

I have an incredible wife, Angela, of 13 years and counting who not only tolerates my brain droppings on a daily basis, but she also has the more difficult job between the two of us. Ang is the glue in our family who never ceases to amaze me.  I do not know how she does it (believe me, I’ve tried for short stretches) staying at home with our three beautiful daughters.  Madison Kate, aka “MKM” (11 years) thankfully is a huge asset when it comes to helping us out with her two younger sisters, Nora Grace (3 years) and Stella Ann (1 year). It’s funny how we’ve learned to soak up the seasons we once flew through with Madison! I’m the baby-whisperer, man! I didn’t think babies liked me much until I became Dad. I simply love rocking Stella to sleep. I told Ang to just call me the “Sandman.” Really though, we’re both soaking up every last drop of this and savoring the moment rather than scrambling in chaos and complaining about not having a “Pause” button in life … although that would be cool too now that I think about it.

Does yielding at a roundabout count? No? OK, then it  would’ve been a Tough Mudder to celebrate Ang and my anniversary. She killed it while I was just thankful to finish it.

Um? Did you catch the part where I mentioned I have a wife and three daughters? I get to be the punchline daily in our home and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’d like to lie and tell you something not too boring or too fun, like Frosted Cheerios. Or even something cool and inspiring like Wheaties ... OK, it wasn’t that funny. So I’ll shoot you straight and tell you I would be the box of cereal that is about 95 percent empty. Just enough left in the bottom of the bag to rationalize putting the entire box back in the cupboard versus finishing the cereal and throwing the box away. Now here’s WHY. My logic is: Ang does most of the grocery shopping. She’s more likely to remember what we need if she was the last one to use the item. Sadly, often only I appreciate my logic.

I’m totally jacking this idea from my wife and MKM. The more they talk about it, the more I keep hoping someone will come to their senses and open a “burrito by the pound” dining experience. Like an Orange Leaf, but for burritos, complete with burrito chefs to take your collection of fresh burrito ingredients and then prepare it to your requests. The final product is weighed, and that’s how you’re charged, by the weight of your burrito! Already have the marketable name: #burrito 

What do you think, eh?!

I prefer to keep the yard art to a minimum, but I’d go with the gnomes before the “bathtub Mary,” the “pink plastic flamingo” or those shiny mirrored balls on pedestal things.

I can’t think of anyone from history I’ve never met that I can’t read a book about or perhaps catch a documentary on Netflix. I’d like my family and me to have dinner with my wife’s late grandmother, Mildred. I met Ang shortly after her grandmother passed away unexpectedly. Ang and her family have no shortage of memories worthy to be shared. I would be very eager to meet the person with such a positive impact in the lives of so many people I love.

Jesus. It all starts here for me. Before being a husband, a father, a friend, or whatever, I’m His and what I have is His. I’m proud because I’m His.